Lashing out at Uwe Boll and his movies is good for your health. Sort of.
I fucking hate lethargy. I'm still suffering from sleep-debts that I've accumulated over the last few days. I can't watch tv without spacing out. It's almost as bad as going to a boring lecture on a Friday afternoon. Basically I've been drifting in and out of being asleep and half awake since this morning. No, I'm not functioning very well today.
I blame this on my LAN + Youtube session that I had last night/this morning.
I don't know if you know who Uwe Boll is. He's a movie director from Germany. Boll likes to make movie-adaptations of video games. Good video games? Not all, but some. Does Uwe Boll make good movies? No. I watched the last 20 minutes of Bloodrayne, one of his video-game-to-movie-crap. By the end of it, I was ready to hurl myself at the tv. If I ever had to destroy my friend's Foxtel device, blame it on The Great Boll.
So last night I saw trailers for a couple of Boll's movies.
This one is from a movie called Postal. Based on a (shit) video game. It actually looks reasonably funny. I guess it could make me laugh when I watch it. Sort of. Maybe Boll has found his film-making niche. Who knows.
Standing in contrast is the trailer to a movie called Dungeon Siege. Again, based on a game. I like the game. I like Dungeon Siege. I don't see why this douchebag has to ruin it by making such a shit movie out of it. But hey, who knows, right? Meh. Just go watch the trailer, and wait for these (shitty) lines uttered by the ill-casted characters:
"Burn it. To the. Greound"
"I am, your Keinnng!!"
In The Name of The King: Dungeon Siege has Burt Reynolds in it. So what? Shoot, I bet if you cast Eric Bana in it, the movie will still suck. "In the Name of The King", eh? See, even the title blows.
You know what happens when somebody writes a negative-review of a Boll movie? The Bollmeister himself challenged the reviewer to a one on one boxing match. I kid you not. Here, watch this. See that bald guy? That's the Boll. Hmm. I can sort of see this happening to me. Getting pwned by the Boll and all.
What a deuche. But he's a necessary evil in an otherwise pseudo-witty pretentious-movies-saturated scene. Read: Half Nelson / any other movies playing at an Arthouse cinema in Melbourne. Hmm.
I blame this on my LAN + Youtube session that I had last night/this morning.
I don't know if you know who Uwe Boll is. He's a movie director from Germany. Boll likes to make movie-adaptations of video games. Good video games? Not all, but some. Does Uwe Boll make good movies? No. I watched the last 20 minutes of Bloodrayne, one of his video-game-to-movie-crap. By the end of it, I was ready to hurl myself at the tv. If I ever had to destroy my friend's Foxtel device, blame it on The Great Boll.
So last night I saw trailers for a couple of Boll's movies.
This one is from a movie called Postal. Based on a (shit) video game. It actually looks reasonably funny. I guess it could make me laugh when I watch it. Sort of. Maybe Boll has found his film-making niche. Who knows.
Standing in contrast is the trailer to a movie called Dungeon Siege. Again, based on a game. I like the game. I like Dungeon Siege. I don't see why this douchebag has to ruin it by making such a shit movie out of it. But hey, who knows, right? Meh. Just go watch the trailer, and wait for these (shitty) lines uttered by the ill-casted characters:
"Burn it. To the. Greound"
"I am, your Keinnng!!"
In The Name of The King: Dungeon Siege has Burt Reynolds in it. So what? Shoot, I bet if you cast Eric Bana in it, the movie will still suck. "In the Name of The King", eh? See, even the title blows.
You know what happens when somebody writes a negative-review of a Boll movie? The Bollmeister himself challenged the reviewer to a one on one boxing match. I kid you not. Here, watch this. See that bald guy? That's the Boll. Hmm. I can sort of see this happening to me. Getting pwned by the Boll and all.
What a deuche. But he's a necessary evil in an otherwise pseudo-witty pretentious-movies-saturated scene. Read: Half Nelson / any other movies playing at an Arthouse cinema in Melbourne. Hmm.
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