I don't know. Lately I've been sprayed with so much shit, the room is now flooded with.. shit 6 inches high. I guess that's the best way to describe my problems. And I feel like, drowning in a pool of shit 6 inches high. Maybe it would be easier to describe what my problems are. Problem solved.

But.. I don't know. People come to read this blog.. and.. maybe I should make this blog private. Huh?

I don't want to attract any attention, but.. I don't know, I could use some right now. Or.. I, I don't know. I need a break. I'm not complaining, but it's just, things are moving so fast I couldn't even stop to appreciate what I have. If I could just.. slow things down. Uh.. what?

I just need one day where I can be alone in a room with no smoking alarm, a fridge full of Carlton Draught, a carton of Djarums Done, no windows, no telephone and no internet connection. If only I could be rid off of all of this responsibilities, all these attachments and feelings.. and, I don't know, be alone for a while. Not alone as in physically alone, but.. detached.

If I could just feel numb for a day. Fuck, I could use some cigarettes right now. I haven't smoked in what, a year? Should be fun to start again.. It sure is fun.

Meh. If I can keep sane after the 2nd of September, and not go crazy on myself, then that would be great. I don't know how I can keep myself sane until then. I feel like substances wouldn't do me any good, not after what happened last year. So.. Eh?

I need to keep myself together. Eh?

I'm going to go get something to eat, clean my apartment, then I should finish my presentation for tomorrow. Hopefully if I keep myself busy by doing these things, I can get everything off my mind. And remember kids, smoking is not good for your health.

Huh?

Problem solved. There's no drama here, and there never was. I was a bit a jealous about something though. Hmm. But really, it doesn't matter anymore. I mean, it could be worse. So uh, if you want to read a tragedy, go somewhere else. Just go blogwalking from a couple of blogrolls from this blog's blogrolls. i.e. two blogrolls away.

Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking off her clothes.