Secure
I was walking home from uni when I came up with a theory. But it's not one of those pretentious, grand sounding theory about humanity, life and our purpose in life. Melb Uni's Existentialist Society is working on the answer to that question, and a few of them have, sadly, drowned themselves in the Yarra because of depression.
I was listening to a sappy love song by Bloc Party called Sunday, and I recall something I read a few months ago. It's actually something I read on a Friendster bulletin board, but that doesn't matter. My point is, there was this interesting dot point: "When you're listening to a love song, and all that comes to your mind is this person.. you may have a crush on him/her".
So all of a sudden, a bunch of girls comes to my mind. It's like Playboy mansion up there in my head, only you know, much much better. Then I came to think about what makes me attracted to a person in the first place. There are millions of things that can be a turn-on for a person, and all of those depends on the situation and condition. But all of this can be simplified to one factor.
A person will want to be with someone who can make them feel secure. Not secure as in, physically secure, but being the opposite of insecure about oneself. For example, a guy would want a supermodel as his girlfriend, for the reason of pride, ego and the cool-ness factor in getting to have sex with a hot babe. A person will want to go out with a social butterfly for the sole reason of inflating his ego and social status. A person wants to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship; to be able to introduce his girlfriend to his mates, e.g. "Eh, kenalin, ini pacar gw"
Do you want to feel secure? How often is it that you will feel hollow at nights when you don't have anything to do? Do you ever wish someone was there to sit besides you? Or is it all for the sake of feeling secure, to not be ridiculed, to have a purpose in life? Are we in a relationship to feel secure about ourselves? Or is it to make the other side feel secure when she's with you?
Because if it's just the matter of pride, then we are no better than animals. We humans tend to choose the tallest in our social groups as potential breeding partners (i.e. husbands, wives) just so we feel secure that he could protect your offsprings. It seems as if we haven't evolved much at all if all we look for in a potential partner is his or her physical appearances, because that's what animals do. The fittest alpha-male is an excellent template for a stronger and more adaptable descendants.
Hence, why we tend not to look below the skin. Hmm.
What do you think?
I was listening to a sappy love song by Bloc Party called Sunday, and I recall something I read a few months ago. It's actually something I read on a Friendster bulletin board, but that doesn't matter. My point is, there was this interesting dot point: "When you're listening to a love song, and all that comes to your mind is this person.. you may have a crush on him/her".
So all of a sudden, a bunch of girls comes to my mind. It's like Playboy mansion up there in my head, only you know, much much better. Then I came to think about what makes me attracted to a person in the first place. There are millions of things that can be a turn-on for a person, and all of those depends on the situation and condition. But all of this can be simplified to one factor.
A person will want to be with someone who can make them feel secure. Not secure as in, physically secure, but being the opposite of insecure about oneself. For example, a guy would want a supermodel as his girlfriend, for the reason of pride, ego and the cool-ness factor in getting to have sex with a hot babe. A person will want to go out with a social butterfly for the sole reason of inflating his ego and social status. A person wants to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship; to be able to introduce his girlfriend to his mates, e.g. "Eh, kenalin, ini pacar gw"
Do you want to feel secure? How often is it that you will feel hollow at nights when you don't have anything to do? Do you ever wish someone was there to sit besides you? Or is it all for the sake of feeling secure, to not be ridiculed, to have a purpose in life? Are we in a relationship to feel secure about ourselves? Or is it to make the other side feel secure when she's with you?
Because if it's just the matter of pride, then we are no better than animals. We humans tend to choose the tallest in our social groups as potential breeding partners (i.e. husbands, wives) just so we feel secure that he could protect your offsprings. It seems as if we haven't evolved much at all if all we look for in a potential partner is his or her physical appearances, because that's what animals do. The fittest alpha-male is an excellent template for a stronger and more adaptable descendants.
Hence, why we tend not to look below the skin. Hmm.
What do you think?
1 comment:
well.. there goes my official description of superficial relationships (relationships based on the 'surface' where one feels the need to be content when another is present.. hence the feeling of loneliness & depression when one is being single). anyways, i kinda forgot the point i was trying to make...
anyhoo, i saw a lot of people getting married because of their fear/insecurity.. which i think is pretty dangerous. 'cause to think about it, when ur already feeling crappy about urself, how the hell can u make another person happy? why should we depend on another person to define our happyness? bleh...
sorry, but i'm sounding too much like oprah. but i truly believe what i said..
so there u go...
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