Armageddon Blows.
When I was a little kid, I used to think that Armageddon is an awesome action movie. Fast forward about a decade later, I'm starting to think that there has to be more to this movie. Back when I was a kid, my dad and I went to the movies every weekend. I was injected with a more-than-average amount of American movies, and so, I viewed movies such as Armageddon or Independence in an almost-patriotic kind of way. Heck, I gave a salute to the tv when the president gave that speech in Independence Day. It's not until recently that I get this urge to re-watch these movies again and realize how bad they were.
Armageddon is such a shitty, cheesy movie with lots of explosions and Ben Affleck. It's so amazingly shit, it has crossed the shitness-awesome line. Star Wars Episode 1 is one example, but we'll get to that later.
The first 50 minutes was alright. It shows the audience that there's this huge asteroid that's going to kill all of us unless we send a couple of geologists and his team of drillers to blow that huge rock to pieces. Using nukes. Because nukes are very powerful. Hmm.
The great animal cracker vs. cookie debate:
Grace: Baby, do you think its possible that anyone else in the world is doing this very same thing at this very same moment?
AJ: I hope so, otherwise, what the hell are we trying to save?
Steve Tyler: "I don't wanna close my eyes.. I don't wanna fall asleep 'coz I'll miss youuu.."
I'm lost for words. Those two lines are either the cheesiest I've ever heard, or the most badass. I can't wait to actually say this to a girl. She'll either laugh really hard, or laugh.. really long and hard.
The speech:
I LOL'd everytime I see this scene. Read the speech's transcript here, or see it here.
I don't know whether to salute to an imaginary American flag, or laugh at the fact that Americans are always portrayed as the ones that are going to save the Earth in the event of a disaster like this. If something like this ever happens, we're probably screwed. We'll be too busy praying, panicking or making sweet, sweet love while we still have the chance.
There's also a ton of scientific inaccuracies here, which I wouldn't go through.
There's a token black guy that only has one decent line:
"Harry, you the man". It's not even grammatically correct, what the hell was Hollywood trying to do?
I just have to make fun of this shot.
Fine, we get it. The US is saved. Oh, and the Earth, too. Peace prevails. Hope, life, freedom, etcetera etcetera.
The last minute of the movie. Harry (Willis) gave his shoulder patch to AJ (Affleck). I thought this actually looks cool. Even though I'm pretty sure there's a subtext in the shoulder patch that says: "For the whole planet to worship us after this whole Asteroid-hitting-Earth thing is over with"
Despite my ramblings, I actually liked Armageddon. As I was saying, it went past the cheesiness/absurdity/shitness - awesome line. Heck, I liked this movie so much, I put it on my iPod for my in-train entertainment. Plus, Steve Buscemi was in Armageddon, and he gave a quite-decent performance. If it was up to me, I'd say he should be the one saving the planet, not Affleck.
When I was a little kid, I used to think that Armageddon is an awesome action movie. Fast forward about a decade later, I'm starting to think that there has to be more to this movie. Back when I was a kid, my dad and I went to the movies every weekend. I was injected with a more-than-average amount of American movies, and so, I viewed movies such as Armageddon or Independence in an almost-patriotic kind of way. Heck, I gave a salute to the tv when the president gave that speech in Independence Day. It's not until recently that I get this urge to re-watch these movies again and realize how bad they were.
Armageddon is such a shitty, cheesy movie with lots of explosions and Ben Affleck. It's so amazingly shit, it has crossed the shitness-awesome line. Star Wars Episode 1 is one example, but we'll get to that later.
The first 50 minutes was alright. It shows the audience that there's this huge asteroid that's going to kill all of us unless we send a couple of geologists and his team of drillers to blow that huge rock to pieces. Using nukes. Because nukes are very powerful. Hmm.
The great animal cracker vs. cookie debate:
Grace: Baby, do you think its possible that anyone else in the world is doing this very same thing at this very same moment?AJ: I hope so, otherwise, what the hell are we trying to save?
Steve Tyler: "I don't wanna close my eyes.. I don't wanna fall asleep 'coz I'll miss youuu.."
I'm lost for words. Those two lines are either the cheesiest I've ever heard, or the most badass. I can't wait to actually say this to a girl. She'll either laugh really hard, or laugh.. really long and hard.
The speech:
I LOL'd everytime I see this scene. Read the speech's transcript here, or see it here.
I don't know whether to salute to an imaginary American flag, or laugh at the fact that Americans are always portrayed as the ones that are going to save the Earth in the event of a disaster like this. If something like this ever happens, we're probably screwed. We'll be too busy praying, panicking or making sweet, sweet love while we still have the chance.
There's also a ton of scientific inaccuracies here, which I wouldn't go through.
There's a token black guy that only has one decent line:
"Harry, you the man". It's not even grammatically correct, what the hell was Hollywood trying to do?
I just have to make fun of this shot.
Fine, we get it. The US is saved. Oh, and the Earth, too. Peace prevails. Hope, life, freedom, etcetera etcetera.
The last minute of the movie. Harry (Willis) gave his shoulder patch to AJ (Affleck). I thought this actually looks cool. Even though I'm pretty sure there's a subtext in the shoulder patch that says: "For the whole planet to worship us after this whole Asteroid-hitting-Earth thing is over with"
Despite my ramblings, I actually liked Armageddon. As I was saying, it went past the cheesiness/absurdity/shitness - awesome line. Heck, I liked this movie so much, I put it on my iPod for my in-train entertainment. Plus, Steve Buscemi was in Armageddon, and he gave a quite-decent performance. If it was up to me, I'd say he should be the one saving the planet, not Affleck.
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