I had my iPod since 2006. A few days ago, it broke. I was studying for my last exam in Engineering lab. Damn noisy Eng kids. I turned on my iPod, then I noticed something funny. Nothing came out of the right earphone. I chose to handle the situation like a man. I dove down under the table and whisphered to my watch-phone (a what? a watch-phone, it's a phone embedded in a watch.. try to keep up): "Delta base, this is delta-7, somebody just sabotaged my playback device!"
"..."
"*sigh* Over"
"This is Delta base. What seems to be the problem? Over"
"Somebody. Or something. Sabotaged my media playback device! I require extraction immediately! Over"
"Helicopters are inbound. Standby for extraction. Hold your position Agent Penn"

Then the hungry wave of engineering kids swarmed at me from all directions. My earphones were the only thing standing between me and hell. This was hell. And it was coming from all directions. I grabbed my iPod, flicked the 'Hold' button, and swung it at the nearest Eng kid. He was less than 5 feet tall, with thick, grease-covered glasses. This was the first wave.

Then came the rest of them. Barrel-chested, beer-drinking Eng kids. They threw their stubbies at me. I swung my iPod wildly, deflecting glass shards and spilled beer. It took a lot of effort to deflect liquid, mind you. Especially when it's something as precious as spilled beer. NEVER, EVER SPILL YOUR BEER. EVER.

I was overpowered. They came from all directions.

I was doomed.

Then came the cavalry. I hear the walls collapsing. No such thing as showy-over-the-top performances for these guys. Because it's always over the top. Ha. A group of 5 Arts student rushed into the room from the helicopter. For distractions. The Eng kids swarmed at them. Like zombies from that British zombie movie. Then I ran to the helicopter, as it pulled away from the collapsing engineering lab.

Inside, Mr. T debriefed me. Yes, that Mr. T.

"So I heard your media playback device broke down"
"Yes Sir"
"Do you suspect foul play?"
"Yes Sir, sabotage, Sir"
"I pity the fool who broke your iPod"
"Me too, Sir"

To be continued...