Doraemon is a fucking badass

Doraemon is a fucking badass. For those of you who don’t know who Doraemon is, he’s this badass robot sent from the 22nd century sent to the present-time by the great-great-grandson of a total douchebag who lives in present day Tokyo, Japan. Doraemon has a lot of awesome gadgets, all of which can screw up someone’s day faster than you can say “Awww doraemon you’re sooo cute”, and he’s also so fucking cute. He’s definitely cuter than, say, He-man with his ‘BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL’ bullshit. Doraemon has a flying-device-rudder-stuff made from bamboo. BAMBOO, man, fucking BAMBOO. Tell me that’s not badass. Several other gadgets:

- A door that can open up to any place in this universe. Within a 10-light year radius. And it’s pink.
- Time machine. Ugliest machine I’ve ever seen. Yet so incredibly badass. Time travel is sexy.
- A flashlight that can shrink or make stuff larger. Can make stuff, like, really-really fucking huge. More on this later.

And a bunch of other stuff. Most of them are awesome, while some are just too freaky. Like, disturbingly twisted. I’ve read the comics (all of them, woo), and Doraemon has a device for literally anything. Thank Nobita for being such a whiny, whinging little dickhead.

Also add that Doraemon’s a cat-robot. That’s right. A CAT-O-ROBOTO. Minus the cat-ears. There should be a cross-over story about ze Terminator adopting Doraemon as a pet. Just think about that for a second, and ponder about the awesomeness of it. A time travelling robot teaming up with a time travelling cat-droid, kicking asses and being awesome and cute at the same time. Shit.

Man, I should write about Doraemon more often.