Suits are cool. Exhibit A...

Suits are cool. Here’s why. Say, you walk in a bar with a suit. Now say it’s a hip bar downtown. On weekends, people go there to drink and stuff, but none of them has a suit on. What’s wrong, you’d ask. It’s the weekend, dumbfuck. Noone suits up on weekend. Except for you. Because you’re cool. You see, not everyone would do that, but wearing a suit on a Saturday evening outing is just plain cool. When somebody asks, just say you’re a businessman on an international business trip with a multinational company that operates in business. What business? Secret, secret business. Shit, that’s hot!, she’d say. So always say to girls you work in finance… or business, whatever, that’s rule number two. The suit justifies yourbullshit somewhat-bullshit claim that you work in finance, especially during this global economic crisis party. A worldwide PARTAAAY. Fuck that.

So rule number one is: Get a suit. I know I just did, and holy shit, I look good. I’m gonna look so good, all the girls will want to have sexy-time with me and every guy would want to be like me. High five.